I want to discover sex again

I always thought I had a great sex life when I was married. Ok, let me rephrase that, I always thought I had a great sex life at the beginning of my marriage. My ex and I had mind blowing sex at the beginning. Well, it was mind-blowing for me. The kind that makes you scream and think that there is nothing better in the world then this (and there really isn’t). I was young and I thought that this kind of sex would last forever. We had sex often, for a long time and it always ended with an orgasm for both of us.

At the beginning, we experimented with different moves, discovered what we liked and what we did not. I guess over time we found our niche and stuck with it. Right, why mess with a good recipe when it works for you?

Well, fast forward to today and now I discover that the first 8 years of my marriage were my best sex years and after that, everything gradually started going downhill. Around that time was when our sex life became less frequent. We had the same routine, the same moves and I did not complain because it was still very satisfying, just not as frequent as I wanted it to be. That was my complaint, not frequent enough. I liked the connection we had when we had sex. Actually, we never had “sex”, we “made love”. My ex was very clear that we were making love, not sex. I was not looking to be more creative. I just wanted more of it, like when we were first married. I’m not sure, but around the 8 year mark, I think we were maybe having sex once a week by then. Still ok, but we did not have children and we had 9 to 5 jobs, so there was really no excuse for us to be too tired or busy to have sex more often.

My ex was my first boyfriend and the only man I have ever slept with. I was his first too. I thought everyone out there had the same sex life as me. I thought I had a healthy sex life.

As I got older and sex became less and less frequent, I started getting hornier and more impatient. I never bought a sex toy to satisfy myself because I thought something had to be wrong with your sex life if you had to revert to using one of those. And I was not about to admit that my sex life needed help! So I just got more frustrated with my husband. Him and I talked about our sex life and our expectations a lot because I brought it up. As the years went by, we were having sex maybe once a month. That frequency worked for him but it did not work for me. Add a child to the mix and well you can imagine how that went. When our marriage reached 16 years, our sex life became almost non-existent. Sex was every other month or so and eventually every other trimester. My frustrations grew. We talked about sex, or lack thereof, but that was it. Just talking, no action.

So now, I am older and wiser and I want to discover sex again. I want that mind blowing sex that I deserve. I want to feel wanted, sexy, loved and needed. At 42, I am way too young not to be experiencing great sex. You know, when you are deprived of something, it seems that is all you want. I just think of sex now.

It will be weird to be naked with somebody else but then again, maybe it won’t. I know that there is a lot more out there then just the same moves and routine…and I am looking forward to learning and discovering someone new again. As I will be dating men that have previous sexual experience, I’m sure I will learn quite a few new tricks. And I am looking forward to it. Maybe I will even get a little sex toy to keep me busy on those lonely nights! Time to change :)