The end

I have been married for 18 years and I have asked my husband for a separation. It’s something I have been thinking of for a long time but many factors made me think that it was not the right time or the right thing to do.

My husband is a great person and I think that is the problem. I never complain about my husband because there is not much to complain about. Don’t get me wrong, he’s not perfect but when I compare him to other husbands…he’s almost a saint!

So why ask for a separation? Well, you see our sex life has been going down hill for a while now. Like the last 10 years I would say. Steadily going down. It has come to a point where I need more intimacy…or just plain intimacy. I’m only 42 years old and I am way too young to call it quits in the sex department of my life.

We have talked about our sex life, or lack thereof, and then we talked some more and then some more again. I am tired of talking about it. He says he has no libido. So I told him to get checked. He did and the doctor said his hormone levels are fine. He thinks that his problem is that he is out of shape. Ok ! I’ll get into shape he says. Does he? No. Well, I am tired of waiting and hoping that one day he will wake up and feel horny. So after 2 years of having sex about 6 times, I’m calling it quits.

So tonight I had every intention on telling my husband that it was over between us. And I did. I spoke with him and told him I wanted to separate. That I could not stay in this relationship as it is. We have spoken a lot in the past about our problems and nothing is changing. So this is me putting my foot down and wanting to move on without him. My husband needs to process information before making a decision. I was not expecting any fighting or any long drawn out conversation. He went upstairs and I stayed downstairs. He came down at one point and went for a drive to clear his mind. I have no idea what he was thinking. He doesn’t tell me. I usually have to draw the information out of him. When he came back, he decided to sleep on the couch for the night and did not want to talk.

It’s weird but I did not feel very much emotion and I questioned that. This decision felt good for me. It was something that I have been thinking for a long time and tonight I finally did it. Tonight was the night I changed the rest of my life. Not sure if it was going to be good or bad but one thing I know, I had to do it.