Tonight things are a little hard for me. I’m feeling sad. Sad about no longer being a couple. As much as I am looking forward to being alone, tonight I’m wondering if I haven’t made a mistake. My life is uncertain at this point and I think that is scaring me right now. I feel like I am financially screwed. I’m having a hard time seeing past that. Speaking to a friend today, she thinks I will be fine and that I should stop wondering what will happen. She thinks I am stronger than this.
So I am doubting, questioning and worrying about everything. Have I made the right decision? Should I have tried to work it out with my husband again but this time go see a counsellor and/or a sex therapist? Do I want to have a relationship with someone else? Will I ever find someone else? Will I ever fall in love again? OMG! Way too many questions. Way too much negativity in my head right now.
I think I need to step up my game and start taking action on things. I need to go see a bank and get a pre-approved mortgage. Take a good hard look at all my finances. Start clearing out the house (clean house…clean mind). I need to start selling stuff I no longer want…the piano, the freezer, the TV cabinet and a lot more.
Anyway, I’m sure this will not be the last day I am worried or sad about my separation. I need to expect that there will be good and bad days.
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